Have you ever felt alone? Do you read comic books and make teenage girls uncomfortable? Have you ever felt that there was more to this life than just awkwardness and loneliness? Are you aware of the world record for number of questions to open a movie review? Have you ever wanted to be a superhero?
Based on the comic book by Mark Millar, KICK-ASS tells the origin story of Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) who decides that he’s had enough of his current, stale living situation. What makes it stale? He spends his days masturbating to National Geographics and his English teacher’s unrestrained middle-aged bombs. When not eating dinner in silence with his Dad, he goes to the comic book store with his two nerd friends – one of whom is the up-and-coming Clarke Duncan from Sex Drive and Hot Tub Time Machine. He wonders aloud why the role of superhero has not been filled by anyone in real life. His friends laugh at him and tell him he’s crazy – that anyone who tried it would be dead before the end of the day. Dave doesn’t think so. Dave thinks it’s time for a hero that people can believe in. Dave has an Amazon Prime account and a lust for green neoprene scuba suits. And so we begin.
Watching Dave in disguise as KICK-ASS as he comes upon his first group of ruffians is exhilarating. You can feel the adrenaline coursing through his body as he enters the fray. Hell, I had the same 6-pack of 5-Hour Energy feeling just watching him prepare for battle. Haven’t we all had this fantasy of being a superhero and curb-stomping our way through the crime-ridden areas of our cities? It would be so freaking GREAT! This movie pumps you up and then makes you want to get up and punch a politician.
Meanwhile, Dave’s heroic battle is caught on video and uploaded to YouTube. A phenomenon is born not seen since that kid who was on meth after his dentist appointment. People are excited, people are talking, and people are inspired. Suddenly the criminals of the city have other superheroes to worry about: Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Big Daddy is Batman with a hangover and early onset dementia played wonderfully by a suddenly resurgent Nick Cage. He has been picking the right roles lately. Hit Girl… needs her own paragraph.
Hit Girl is an 11 year old, dockside sailor-mouthed killing machine who would give Jet Li a run for his money. A one-girl death squad with a Hello Kitty backpack stuffed with guns and knives, she piles up bodies like a snowplow. She can take a beating also – which admittedly was a little uncomfortable to watch. She is a great character and I would love to see more of her.
Is there a bad guy in this film? Sure, but who cares? This movie is a vehicle for kids to KICK-ASS and KICK-ASS they do. KICK-ASS has a frenetic pace, a stylish look, bawdy dialogue, some great casting choices and is topped by a great soundtrack. Kill Bill with kids describes this film to a large degree. And that is a good thing. You should have a great time during this movie as you discover what it’s like to be a superhero. Does this green scuba suit make me look fat? 3 stars.
